Not So Wordless Wednesday

The "Get Jason and Jenn's Marriage on Track Bible Study" is underway. I say "On track," as opposed to "Back on track," because it never was really on track to begin with. Together we started the study last night and almost finished the first chapter. We got to it kind of late and it was 10:30 when we decided to go ahead and take a breather for the night.

I was so impressed with how honest and supportive we were. We went into it with an open mind and the respect really blew me away. No defensiveness, no denial...We totally accepted each other's answers and really worked together as a team to fully understand the points being made.

The first chapter deals with the causes of conflict. We were first asked to list what we thought were the most common sources of conflict in marriages. Between the two of us we came up with: Money, sex, outside friendships/interests and lack of communication. Then we were asked to list the particular issues that trigger disagreements between the two of us and one conflict we have resolved successfully.

What struck me as funny was we listed two completely different things that trigger disagreements between us AND the conflict that we thought we resolved was not the same either. What was even more interesting was that communication was key in all of these and that really says something right there, doesn't it?

The chapter then went onto discussing the book of Jeremiah and the conflict between God and Israel. Very though-provoking, the comparison between God's love for Israel and the love between a man and wife. Question and answer section involved understanding how jealous and angry God was because Israel had turned away from Him. The beautiful realization was that before Israel had even admitted their sin and asked forgiveness...God was already telling them, "Hey, it is OK, I love you, come back and it will all be alright."

The comparison continues with root causes of conflict. In a marriage, it is possible to cause grief and strife when one party begins looking outside the marriage to appeal to their interests. Just like a man and wife expect faithfulness, God expects it too.

We were asked to list expectations that we have had for our marriage that have not been fulfilled. I was so humbled to find that I have far more expectations for my husband than he has for me. All he asks of me is to be healthy. My list for him goes on, and on, and on...The next step was to think about how we might adjust our expectations to fit reality. That made a lot of sense to me and is definitely something I need to think about.

Unmet needs is another root conflict in many marriages. The people of Israel turned away from God and sought out false gods to fulfill their needs. But why? Why, after God delivered them from slavery, fed them, clothed them, gave them shelter, not to mention the amazing inheritance! Why would they turn from Him? I think they took Him for granted...That and being caught up with Earthly desires, they simply...Forgot Him.

No one person can fulfill all the needs for any of us. That is why God has placed others in our lives. I love going to the beach. I'm a total beach bum, if you will. Although Jason likes the beach, he likes to visit once in a while and sit to watch the sunset or go for a walk on a special occasion along the sand...But he doesn't get the urge to go every day and lay around and swim and soak up the sun like I do. However, there are other people like Chrissy who do love it too and can accompany me so I don't feel lonely. Of course, I do like going alone sometimes too :-)

On the same hand, Jason really likes heavy Punk Rock and likes to go to shows. I'm not so into them anymore, but he has a few friends who are and when the time comes up for a show, he can go with any one of them.

An important thing to remember when searching for people outside the marriage to share experiences with is to chose people from your own gender. It makes life a lot less complicated because not only does it show respect for your partner, it also prevents you from putting yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in ;-) It is also vital to pray to God to bring you two together with interests that you both share as well.

We aren't through with the chapter just yet...Have a few more pages to go. I'm excited. It is a short study, but man are we lapping it up. How THIRSTY we are!