Not So Wordless Wednesday

The "Get Jason and Jenn's Marriage on Track Bible Study" is underway. I say "On track," as opposed to "Back on track," because it never was really on track to begin with. Together we started the study last night and almost finished the first chapter. We got to it kind of late and it was 10:30 when we decided to go ahead and take a breather for the night.

I was so impressed with how honest and supportive we were. We went into it with an open mind and the respect really blew me away. No defensiveness, no denial...We totally accepted each other's answers and really worked together as a team to fully understand the points being made.

The first chapter deals with the causes of conflict. We were first asked to list what we thought were the most common sources of conflict in marriages. Between the two of us we came up with: Money, sex, outside friendships/interests and lack of communication. Then we were asked to list the particular issues that trigger disagreements between the two of us and one conflict we have resolved successfully.

What struck me as funny was we listed two completely different things that trigger disagreements between us AND the conflict that we thought we resolved was not the same either. What was even more interesting was that communication was key in all of these and that really says something right there, doesn't it?

The chapter then went onto discussing the book of Jeremiah and the conflict between God and Israel. Very though-provoking, the comparison between God's love for Israel and the love between a man and wife. Question and answer section involved understanding how jealous and angry God was because Israel had turned away from Him. The beautiful realization was that before Israel had even admitted their sin and asked forgiveness...God was already telling them, "Hey, it is OK, I love you, come back and it will all be alright."

The comparison continues with root causes of conflict. In a marriage, it is possible to cause grief and strife when one party begins looking outside the marriage to appeal to their interests. Just like a man and wife expect faithfulness, God expects it too.

We were asked to list expectations that we have had for our marriage that have not been fulfilled. I was so humbled to find that I have far more expectations for my husband than he has for me. All he asks of me is to be healthy. My list for him goes on, and on, and on...The next step was to think about how we might adjust our expectations to fit reality. That made a lot of sense to me and is definitely something I need to think about.

Unmet needs is another root conflict in many marriages. The people of Israel turned away from God and sought out false gods to fulfill their needs. But why? Why, after God delivered them from slavery, fed them, clothed them, gave them shelter, not to mention the amazing inheritance! Why would they turn from Him? I think they took Him for granted...That and being caught up with Earthly desires, they simply...Forgot Him.

No one person can fulfill all the needs for any of us. That is why God has placed others in our lives. I love going to the beach. I'm a total beach bum, if you will. Although Jason likes the beach, he likes to visit once in a while and sit to watch the sunset or go for a walk on a special occasion along the sand...But he doesn't get the urge to go every day and lay around and swim and soak up the sun like I do. However, there are other people like Chrissy who do love it too and can accompany me so I don't feel lonely. Of course, I do like going alone sometimes too :-)

On the same hand, Jason really likes heavy Punk Rock and likes to go to shows. I'm not so into them anymore, but he has a few friends who are and when the time comes up for a show, he can go with any one of them.

An important thing to remember when searching for people outside the marriage to share experiences with is to chose people from your own gender. It makes life a lot less complicated because not only does it show respect for your partner, it also prevents you from putting yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in ;-) It is also vital to pray to God to bring you two together with interests that you both share as well.

We aren't through with the chapter just yet...Have a few more pages to go. I'm excited. It is a short study, but man are we lapping it up. How THIRSTY we are!

I've been busy and all I've got for you is this lousy meme.

Just kidding, it isn't lousy. I have been busy though. Working out has taken up much of my blogging time. We're all really tired tonight though so we're playing hooky. I've gained five pounds, even though I swear I lost them. But then Chrissy gained fifteen and I KNOW she lost them. Muscle does weigh more than fat...Must keep telling myself that. I am doing well I believe.

Tonight I'm making curry chicken with rice, zucchini and broccoli and we're going to watch The World's Fastest Indian and Hoodwinked. I swore I wouldn't watch that last one, but I'm caving.

Before I start on this meme, I wanted to point out two posts of note that caught my attention today and one noteworthy blog. I am going to try and make this a normal thing...I've been turned on to so many great blogs, I just want to return the favor.

First, the funniest entry (usually the funniest blog) I've read...Well probably ever is today's entry at BooMama.

The most honest post I've read in I don't know how long is on Heather's Thoughts, written Friday, June 23rd.

Finally, I would like to turn you all onto the most poetic blog on the internet to date, Misha, Barefoot and Real. Please, explore, immerse yourself in the lyrical, literary goodness that is Misha.

And now, THREE memes:

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT RING?
yes
2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
The relationship I was in prior to my marriage lasted almost five years. Jason and I will be married two years on September 1st and we have been together for four years and three months on Friday.
3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
The various presents I received on Christmas.
4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Yeah, once in the ocean and then while it was drying out I spilled beer all over it.
5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Last night. I left that gym feeling like a rock. Of course I was, in fact, not a rock...But a flabby mass of flesh ;-)
6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
The only thing I ever spend money on is Netflix, books and CDs sometimes off of Amazon, cleaning products, groceries and going out to eat once in a while.
7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
A blueberry bagel with light cream cheese, 2% Mexican cheese blend and tomato.
8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
The first thing I noticed about Jason was how freaking gorgeous he is. HUGE blue eyes that shimmer as if they were little pools of water and full, kissable lips. He's short for a man but his shape is awesome. Nice strong shoulders and arms, broad chest (Maybe not broad to some, but hey I'm practically a midget so anything bigger than him would look awkward to me anyways).
9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
Well, I say I don't have a favorite anything, but I always find myself saying "That's my favorite song!" when I hear "Sittin' on the Dock O' the Bay," by Otis Redding.
10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
The San Fernando Valley. Good luck finding me, there's about a million girls who look just like me with the same name. No, that wasn't a challenge...Beware, I'm fully trained in the art of Jeet Kune Do. I may be slow and stout, but I pack a mean wallop, whether you wanna believe it or not. Don't mess with me.
11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
The one in the small town in the central California foothills.
12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
N/A
13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
I don't go to the mall. I don't think I've been in a mall in over five years. I don't like malls. Malls are bad.
14. BAKED OR FRIED?:
Believe it or not I prefer baked food over fried. Not only does it taste better, but it doesn't give me heart burn ;-)
15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
Um, I guess...In one of my board games. I don't claim like, "ownership" over them though.
16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
Well, these days, with caller ID and all, it is quite difficult and ineffectual to crank call anyone. I did in junior high and high school though. A lot. And how we laughed. What bitches we were.
17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Does my own count?
18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
My husband.
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
I don't have a best friend. I kind of admire those women who can call their husbands their best friend. I don't mean anything against my husband by saying that either. Of course, he's there for me and I go to him with a lot, but sometimes there isn't anything like the understanding of a woman in certain situations. I guess when it comes down to it, I couldn't really consider him a friend anyways, he's more than that. He's family.
20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Baja Fresh YUMMY.
21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
Oh, the biggest? I couldn't tell you. The big lies I've heard are all pretty darn big.
23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH YOUR FRIENDS?
I'd go with Rachel's answer and say one of our homes.
24. CAN YOU COOK?
Who CAN'T cook? I mean really...It isn't hard. Now am I a good cook? That's another question.
25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
A 2003, white, Ford Focus
26. FAVORITE FLAVOR JOLLY RANCHER:
I have probably had like one Jolly Rancher in my life. It was a red one and if it wasn't so sour I probably would have had more.
27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
I think it has been almost a week! Wow!
28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
I can't believe Rachel doesn't like maple. THAT'S just weird. I HATE liver. Just plain HATE it. Probably the only thing I actually, literally HATE.
29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I seem to have an ability to make people laugh and when that happens it makes me very happy and for that I will be eternally grateful to God.
30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I am far too judgmental.
32. LEAST FAVORITE BREED OF DOG
NO SUCH THING.
33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Don't have a single most favorite movie.
34. CAN YOU SING?
Anyone who isn't mute can sing. Now, can I sing well? That is another question...
35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Um, well...I saw The Addicts and DI in concert at the Malibu Inn last year.
36. LAST KISS?
At around 10:30 this morning.
37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
We have Netflix so we get three movies at once. The last three were, lemme see if I can remember...Dune, The Muppet Movie and Freedomland.
38. 1 THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
My keys ;-)
39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT:
Catalina
43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
I have a desktop computer but I WANT a laptop.
44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
It varies...Sometimes Chris Rock, sometimes Margaret Cho, sometimes Dane Cook, sometimes my husband...
45. DO YOU SMOKE?
Well, not regularly...I've quit like a million times. Lately; that is to say the past three months or so, I have smoked only a few times and that is only because I had a drink. I only crave a cigarette after a glass of wine and stuff. I'm totally conditioned. Like Pavlov's dogs.
46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT A LIGHT?
These days I sleep with a visible light on somewhere. I feel watched in the dark and when I open my eyes I see stuff. Much easier for my sanity just to keep the lights on. Plus, tripping over stuff is bad too.
47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
My husband and sometimes my kitties.
48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
I think long distance friendships work, but in my experience trying to keep a romantic relationship working long distance is futile. Of course, my experiences were from teen years.
49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?I have been pulled over probably about four times when I was driving and about three or four times when someone else was driving. I have a lead foot.
50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Depends.
51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
Dood, if I don't, then I'm in the WRONG business.
52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Without a yoke.
53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
No.
54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
My sister.
55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Not sure.
56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED?
Text messaging is lame. It costs way too much and takes far to long to type them up.
58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
One for me and one for Jason.
59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
A green T-shirt that says "Ireland" on it and a pair of black panties. Sorry, it asked. I'm about to throw some sweats on though and go pick Jason up...I know, I know...Sweats? You ask. The gym. Always with the gym.
60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC:
"I think I see the light coming to me, coming through me giving me a second sight. So shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine, shine."
______________________________________
Twice Upon a Time--
Two Names You Go By:
1. Jennifer
2. Jenn
Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Scottish
2. Lithuanian
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Braids
2. Pants
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Honesty
2. Humor
Two of Your favorite Hobbies:
1. Photography
2. Writing
Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. A CHEESEBURGER
2. A vacation
Two pets you had/have:
1. Cat(s)
2. Dog
Two things you did last night:
1. Went to the gym
2. Made turkey cacciatore, mmm.
Two People that live in your house:
1. My husband
2. Myself
Two things you ate today:
1. Bagel sandwich
2. Fruit smoothie
Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Chrissy
2. My husband
Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Cleaning this fan we have that turns the air coming in from outside cold. It is dirty and nasty and we NEED it.
2. Cleaning out the inside of the car.
Two longest car rides:
1. The summer between seventh and eight grade my family and I took a cross-country RV trip through seven states.
2. Almost two years ago I (Literally meaning I, me, the one and only) drove from my home (SFV, CA) to Eugene, OR and BACK. I did have my husband and my mom with me, but my mom doesn't drive and Jason doesn't like to drive. Not that he MADE me drive, I LOVE driving...It is just that, well...I get a little proud of myself for doing things that most people refuse to do.
Two favorite Holidays:
1. Don't have one
2. Really, I don't have one. I don't like holidays. Just plain ole' commercialism if you ask me. The real events never took place on the dates that are set aside for them anyways. I do have plans on creating my own calendar of holidays though, one day...Probably when I have kids and I'm ready to teach them everything that will completely ostracize them from everyday society ;-)
_____________________________________

Misha's Meme about blogging:

question: what's usually going on around you?
For the most part my room is still and silent save for a fan if it is hot. Usually a kitty or two is laying around on the floor, in the window or on my bed...Sometimes on my lap or on my desk, preventing me from getting any work done. Once in a while I'll have some music playing, but more often than not that deters thoughts and keeps me from listening to the words in my head clearly.

question: when did the blog start?
I started my blog in June of 2003. Rachel turned me onto blogging. I had no idea what they were. I had read some, but never really knew they were blogs. I'm a bit slow in the starting line ;0) So I guess this is my three year blogging anniversary!

question: how did you choose the name?
I've had about four different blogs that I kept changing as I changed. I needed blogs that fit my personality. I went from an incredibly angry and politically charged blog on AOL that I can no longer access and good riddance to it because it was as an ex-friend who hates me now because of it once said "Is so fucking boring."

Next, I was on BeBlog, also politically charged, but not as angry...I've deleted that one as it was a very strong source of animosity between me and a few people because of a difference of opinions. Then I had "Alive and Kicking" on blogger. I still have that blog and I keep it because it was the catalyst for "Theological Studies." I was on the cusp of deciding to search for God and it led me to where I am today.

I chose the name, "Theological Studies" because I used it for just that very reason. It will stay as such until one day when God lets me feel qualified to teach, more than just study.

question: how can you write such things?
How can I not? My mouth is like an over-flowing river of thoughts and ideas. I think outloud all the time. Writing in this blog has helped me learn to keep my mouth shut and channel my thoughts and ideas into a more productive manner...Writing. This way I can edit myself so even if I come off crazy, profane and delusional...At least I can have some sort of control over my grammar ;-)

Really, I am an open book. I am unashamed, unapologetic and real. I look at people who hide themselves from the world and wish I could just pry them open with a crow bar. I need to speak my mind. I need to be understood. I need people to feel comfortable with me and the only way I know how to do that is to put myself in a situation they'd be afraid of. That way they can learn to be at ease with me. That they can be real with me. It makes the relationship immediately trustworthy. Plus, it's really a damn drag pretending to be someone I'm not. The way I see it if someone doesn't like me I know it is me they really don't like, and not some mask of who I wanted people to think I was.

I believe whatever happens happens, I trust the Lord, I can take care of myself and I'm going to live my life to the fullest and try not to regret too much. Life is too damn short to hold anything back.

question: explain some of your writing style
I suppose it varies. Sometimes it is meticulous. Sometimes I look up the spelling for every single word. I am a thesaurus whore. I make sure I don't say the same word twice in a single sentence.

Other times it is all stream of consciousness, random thoughts that don't make sense to anyone else but me and those who know me. The spelling is off, the grammar is sub par and I repeat myself over and over again.

Once in a blue moon, I attempt poetics. There are times when I'm struck with lyrical prose. I like those times. They are rare.

question: who designed the blog?
Blogger. I wish I was one of those people that could tweak the code to change the header and add a blog roll, but I'm not. Anyone want to teach me?

question: why blogger?
It is the only user friendly blog that has most of the features I want.

question: how do you feel about comments?
I love comments because most of the time I need some support, or I want to know that I've touched someone in some way. Feel free to comment anytime.